When Caretaker Parts Burn Out: An IFS Perspective on Therapist Exhaustion

Therapist burnout has become one of the most pressing issues in the field of psychotherapy. This became more evident during the pandemic when going to therapy suddenly became normalised and therapist offices all became very full. Long hours, exposure to client's personal histories, and extreme parts, and systemic pressures meant many therapists were at breaking point. This has started to be addressed more explicitly by regulatory bodies as most ethical guidelines across counselling professions build in requirements for therapist self-care. For example, the new Psychology Board of Australia Psychologist code of conduct is explicit about expectations for self-care. Self-care is now explicitly linked to maintaining competence, avoiding impairment, and ensuring that one’s practice does not cause harm (to one self or clients).

While these directives are important, if you examine therapist self-care through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a deeper, more complex story emerges. Burnout isn’t simply about too much work or not enough rest. I would argue that professionals can rest all they like, but it's what parts they bring to the therapy that is just as an important a determinant of burnout. When professionals are lead by their caretaker parts, without any support from the Self, therapists end up carrying too much responsibility for clients and when this goes on for too long it's a recipe for disaster. These parts are devoted, well practiced, and often deeply skilled. Yet when they’re left in charge, they eventually exhaust themselves, and the systems they're leading, setting up a potentially dangerous dynamic for the therapist and their clients. While from the outside therapist burnout may look like fatigue, cynicism, or loss of passion for the work, from the inside, it feels like numbness, resentment, or a sense of emptiness.

Caretaker Parts: The Therapist’s Superpower and Achilles Heel

Nearly every therapist I’ve ever met has strong caretaker parts. Many of us chose this profession precisely because we learned, often in childhood, that taking care of others kept us safe, loved, or needed. I remember one of lecturers in graduate school jokingly said that we all learned our foundational assessment skills as children. Those caretaker parts helped us survive, and later, we learned that we could do it professionally - at least at first - in the role of counsellor, psychologist, or social worker.

In therapy, caretaker parts give us incredible strengths:

• Empathy and attunement. They notice subtle shifts in tone, facial expression, and body language.

• Commitment and perseverance. They drive us to show up fully for clients, even when we’re tired.

• Connection and trust.  Some clients feel safer when they sense our caretaker parts are engaged.

  
  

While caretaker parts can help us become therapists they also create risk for therapist burnout. Why? Because these parts usually carry a belief like: “If I don’t keep caring, something bad will happen.”  They don’t recognise limits, and they often don’t trust that the therapist can lead from a place of Self-energy, such as calm, compassion, genuine care).

How Therapist Burnout Shows Up in IFS Terms

Seen through the lens of IFS, therapist burnout isn’t a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being blended with a manager part who is working too hard. Caretaker parts become so blended with us that we forget they’re just parts. They become “I,” rather than “a part of me.”

Here's some practical signs this may be happening:

• You feel guilty setting limits on your caseload, or saying no to a new referral.

• You skip breaks, meals, or personal time to “be there” for clients.

• You carry your clients’ stories home at night and find them replaying in your mind.

• You feel resentment toward certain clients, or toward the field itself.

• You notice numbness, disconnection, or a loss of curiosity in sessions.

  
  

These are not signs that you’re a bad therapist, they are signals that caretaker parts are overworking and need the support of Self.

When caretaker parts are in charge, we often:

• Rescue rather than empower.  Instead of trusting clients to meet the pain of their own exiles, we step in too quickly fearing the system will become overwhelmed.

• Over-function.  We take responsibility for progress that belongs to the client.

• Avoid challenge. We hold back from interventions that might stir discomfort, fearing we’ll “hurt” the client.

  
  

Over time, this not only fuels therapist burnout, but also disrupts the therapeutic process, meaning the effectiveness of the therapeutic endeavour is compromised, and clients progress has an invisible ceiling. Clients miss out on experiencing their own resilience because we’re carrying too much for them.

Befriending, Not Banishing, Therapist Caretaker Parts in IFS

The beauty of IFS is that it never asks us to get rid of parts. Instead, it invites us to befriend caretaker parts with curiosity and compassion.

Here’s a simple process you can use for supervision or personal practice:

1. Pause and notice.  When you feel exhaustion or resentment, or step in too early to stop the client from experiencing distress and resource them instead, ask: “Which part of me is active right now?” Often, it’s a caretaker part.

2. Appreciate.  Acknowledge its devotion. “I see how hard you’re working to make sure my clients are safe.”

3. Get curious.  Ask: “What are you afraid would happen if you stepped back, even for a moment?” Caretaker parts often fear abandonment, rejection, or harm to the client.

4. Invite Self-leadership.  Reassure the caretaker part that Self is here. Self can care for both the client and the therapist’s inner system.

   
   

When caretaker parts begin to trust Self, something inside shifts. The burden doesn’t feel so heavy and the work becomes sustainable again. With the Self in the leadership position, genuine care comes to the surface and the therapist gains clarity about what is needed.

Therapist Self-Leadership as Burnout Prevention

Preventing therapist burnout isn’t just about scheduling vacations or practicing mindfulness (though those help). From an IFS perspective, prevention means cultivating Self-leadership in our professional lives.

When Self is leading:

• Caretaker parts feel supported rather than taking sole responsibility for a client's progress.

• Boundaries are easier to hold without guilt (despite what the client's parts are doing/saying).

• Presence flows naturally, without the therapist efforting.

• Clients benefit from a therapist who is both compassionate and spacious.

Sustainable practice doesn’t come from silencing caretaker parts or shoving them into the back room. It comes from letting them relax into a trusting relationship with the Self.

A Quick 5-Minute Caretaker Check-In

Here’s a simple practice you might try between sessions:

1. Close your eyes and take a breath.

2. Ask inside: “Are there any caretaker parts here right now?”

3. Notice where they show up in your body, eg., tight shoulders, racing mind, clenched jaw.

4. Say to them: “Thank you for caring so much. I’m here with you.”

5. Ask: “What do you need from me right now?”

Often, these parts just want acknowledgment. Sometimes they ask for rest. Sometimes they want reassurance that you’re not abandoning clients by taking care of yourself. Listening to them takes far less energy than ignoring them.

Therapist burnout is not inevitable and doesn't stem from personal failure. From the standpoint of IFS, burnout is a message from our caretaker parts: “We can’t keep doing this alone.”

When we learn to listen, appreciate, and unblend, we restore balance and caretaker parts can return to their natural role of offering warmth and connection without carrying the entire weight of our professional lives. And from Self-leadership, we rediscover the joy of this work: walking alongside clients, not carrying them.

Therapist burnout may always be a risk in this field. But through the practical wisdom of IFS, we have a map to care not only for our client's systems, but also for our own.

About the Author

Sean Cuthbert is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychology Board of Australia (PBA) Approved Supervisor, Certified IFS Therapist, and IFS-I Approved Clinical Consultant in private practice in Melbourne, online throughout Australia, and internationally. He provides 1:1 therapy for clients, and supports professionals through individual and group supervision/consultation.