Understanding the Difference Between Parts and the Burdens They Carry in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

If you’ve just started exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, you’ve probably heard the phrase: “All parts are welcome.”

To me, a clinically trained Psychologist, started my IFS Training, that alone is a radical idea! No more seeing parts as people as "pathological" or "dysfunctional".

Most people come to therapy believing there are bad parts of us; some common ones I hear are "self-sabotaging" parts, "addicted" parts, parts that are shameful. People want to get rid of them, fix them, or heal from them. IFS offers a radically different message: your parts are not the problem. In fact, they are trying their best to help you survive, protect you in some way, and make sense of pain. So why do parts behave in extreme or dysfunctional ways?

The short answer: burdens.

Let’s unpack the essential distinction between parts and the burdens they carry, a distinction that is essential to understand in IFS therapy.

What Are “Parts” in IFS?

I've gone over this in a separate post, so I'll give you the short version here. Parts are basically subpersonalities. Think of them as internal characters in your mind and body, each with their own perspective, feelings, beliefs, and strategies. We all have parts, and that’s completely normal. IFS doesn’t pathologise this. In fact, the model is built on the idea that the mind is naturally multiple and that change happens when these parts are seen, heard, and cared for by your Self  (the calm, compassionate, curious centre of who you are).

But here’s the key: your parts aren’t broken. They’re burdened.

What Are “Burdens” in IFS?

Burdens are the extreme beliefs, emotions, or energies that parts carry, but that are not intrinsic to the parts themselves.

Think of burdens as the stain on your white shirt, not the shirt itself.

A burden might be something like:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I’ll always be alone.”

• “I have to be perfect to be loved.”

• “I deserve punishment.”

• “It’s all my fault.”

These burdens are not the parts’ natural state. They’re the result of trauma, neglect, cultural messages, or difficult life experiences. And they weigh parts down, forcing them into rigid roles and protective extremes. A burden is like a heavy costume a part puts on to survive. The longer it wears it, the more it forgets who it really is underneath.

An example: The Inner Critic

Let’s take a common example: the Inner Critic.

Inner Critics get a lot of heat from other parts in the internal system. It seems cruel, harsh, and self-defeating. But in IFS, we don’t exile the Critic, we get curious about it.

We might find that the Inner Critic is a manager part who believes that if it shames you first, you’ll improve, and no one else will get the chance to reject you. It’s carrying the burden of perfectionism and self-hatred, messages it potentially absorbed from a shaming parent, or a critical coach, or years of cultural conditioning.

When we approach this part with compassion, it often reveals:

“I don’t want to talk to you this way. I’m just scared that if I don’t, you’ll get hurt or fail.”

This part is not bad, it’s just burdened. And when the burden is released, this part may transform into a helpful inner advisor, offering insight, discernment, and motivation without cruelty.

Healing Happens When Burdens Are Released

In IFS, the goal is not to get rid of parts, it’s to help them unburden.

Here’s a brief summary of what that looks like practically in therapy:

1. You (Self) connect with the part with compassion. This often requires working with protectors first and gaining permission to access the exile or burdened part underneath.

2. The part shares its story. You witness how it got burdened, what happened, how it formed its beliefs, how it’s tried to protect you.

3. The part is invited to let go of its burden. Often through a visualisation or ritual, the part releases the burdened beliefs or pain it’s been carrying.

4. The part reconnects with its natural qualities. Once unburdened, the part may feel lighter, freer, and shift into a new role in the system.

   
   

This process restores internal trust and helps your system reorganise around Self-leadership, not fear or protection.

Why This Distinction Matters

If you confuse the part with its burden, you risk reinforcing internal exile and shame. For example:

• “I hate my angry part.” → “That part is so mean.”

• “Why can’t I get rid of my procrastinator?”

• “My anxious part is ruining my life.”

  
  

But when you remember that your parts are not the burden, the tone shifts:

• “This angry part is trying to protect something important.”

• “My procrastinator might be afraid of failure or judgment.”

• “This anxious part needs support, not shame.”

This is the heart of IFS: compassionate curiosity.

Beyond the Therapy Room

Understanding the parts/burdens distinction can help you radically shift how you relate to yourself and others.

• That “emotionally unavailable” friend? Maybe he has a part burdened by the belief that vulnerability is dangerous.

• That “needy” partner? Maybe they carry a burden that says love must be earned through intense connection.

• That “difficult” client? Maybe their protectors are working overtime to avoid unbearable exiled pain.

Trust the Health of Your System

When you stop seeing parts as problems and start seeing burdens as the things in need of transformation, everything changes. You stop trying to fix yourself and start learning to be with yourself. You discover that beneath every critical, angry, shut-down, addicted, avoidant, or over-functioning part is a protector trying to help, and beneath that protector is often a vulnerable exile trying to be seen.

Your parts are not the problem. The burdens are.

About the Author

Sean Cuthbert is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychology Board of Australia (PBA) Approved Supervisor, Certified IFS Therapist, and IFS-I Approved Clinical Consultant in private practice in Melbourne, online throughout Australia, and internationally. He provides 1:1 therapy for clients, and supports professionals through individual and group supervision/consultation.