Focusing on the 8C's: Curiosity as the Quiet Superpower of Self in IFS Therapy

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, curiosity is one of the core qualities of Self energy, or one of the 8Cs. It sounds simple and kind of fluffy.

It isn’t.

Curiosity is often the first sign that we are no longer blended with a protective part. When we are blended, we judge, fix, suppress, analyse, shame, or override. When we are in Self, we get curious.

But not all curiosity is the same.

There is a crucial difference between intellectual curiosity and embodied curiosity.

Understanding that difference can change your therapy, how you relate to your parts, external people, and your life.

Intellectual Curiosity in IFS: The Mind Trying to Manage

Intellectual curiosity lives in the head.

It asks a bunch of "figuring out" questions:

• Why am I like this?

• Where did this come from?

• What attachment style is this?

• Is this because of my mother?

  
  

These are not problematic questions necessarily, but often, they are asked by thinking parts who are trying to solve, manage, or master the experience. Intellectual curiosity creates distance. It can feel analytical, strategic, even urgent. There is an agenda - "solve this!"

In therapy, it often sounds like:

“I understand why I get triggered.”

Yet nothing changes.

How come? Because the part that is analysing is still blended. Why questions in particularly are often asked by thinking managers. They are not relating to the system, but thinking about it from a cold distance.

Intellectual curiosity in IFS gathers content and data. On the other hand, embodied curiosity builds the Self to part/s relationship.

Embodied Curiosity in IFS: Self in Contact

Embodied curiosity feels different; it is slower, softer, and warmer.

It sounds more like:

• Oh… that’s interesting.

• What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do that?

• How long have you been carrying this?

• What do you need me to understand?

  
  

Embodied curiosity is not trying to fix or conclude. This curiosity doesn't have an end point. It is trying to know and understand deeply. You can feel it in the body. There is usually more breath, and much less urgency. A slight leaning in rather than coming at a part with tension and bracing.

When embodied curiosity is present, parts soften. They feel seen rather than examined. You can even ask a part, "Do you feel like I'm starting to get you?" This is why curiosity is so central in IFS. It creates the conditions for protectors to trust us and exiles to reveal themselves.

Curiosity communicates the message: I am not here to eliminate you. I am here to understand you.

That is revolutionary for a system built around survival.

How to Practise Embodied Curiosity

If you want to strengthen Self-led curiosity, try this:

1. Notice the quality of your question. Is it sharp or spacious? Is it trying to conclude something?Or discover something?

2. Slow the tempo. Curiosity moves at relational speed, not cognitive speed. If you are rushing, a Self-like part is probably covertly running the show.

3. Drop from head to body. Before asking a part a question, take one slow breath. Feel your feet connected with the floor, and let your shoulders drop. Then ask.

4. Check your agenda. Is some part secretly hoping the part will change, calm down, or go away? If so, get curious about the part that wants that.

5. Ask the simplest question. Often the most powerful doorway is:

“What do you want to share with me?”

Curiosity is not passive. It is profoundly regulating.

When we meet our anger, shame, people-pleasing, or numbness with embodied curiosity, we interrupt internal violence, shifting from from rigidity and control, to connection.

And kind connection has the potential to heal all systems.

So the next time a part shows up loudly, instead of asking, “How do I stop this?” try asking:

“What do you need from me right now?”

If you can feel the calm and the warmth behind the question, you’re probably in Self.

About the Author

Sean Cuthbert is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychology Board of Australia (PBA) Approved Supervisor, Certified IFS Therapist, and IFS-I Approved Clinical Consultant in private practice in Melbourne, online throughout Australia, and internationally. He provides 1:1 therapy for clients, and supports professionals through individual and group supervision/consultation.