The Mini Unblend in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: A Simple Way to Come Back to Yourself

Sometimes your inner world very, very crowded. Maybe you're in a moment of anger, self-criticism, craving, replaying a conversation, worrying about tomorrow, and trying to work out what to do next. Like dominoes, one thought leads to another, and one feeling activates another. Before long, your whole system of parts can feel like it is in chaos.

This is a familiar experience in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. In IFS, we understand these experiences as times when parts have become blended with us. Blended in IFS means that a part is too close and its thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges, and beliefs can consume our awareness. When several parts are activated, the experience can feel chaotic. IFS Expert, Cece Sykes developed a beautifully simple intervention for these moments, which she calls the mini unblend.

The process is:

Pause. Breathe. Notice.

The power of this practice lies in its simplicity.

IFS Mini Unblend Step 1: Pause

The first step is to stop. Modern capitalist life has taught us we always need to be "doing". This is linked to the myth that if you're not "doing", you have no value. However, moments of pause are necessary for the grown of awareness, and in IFS, the Self-leadership quality of clarity. When you pause, you do not need to solve anything. The endeavour is discovering what part or parts of you are active in that moment. You do not need to understand your history or make a decision. Just pause. For many people, this is already significant. Parts often carry enormous urgency. The worried part demands an answer. The critical part wants you to do better. Or the compulsive part wants relief. This pause creates a little space inside.

IFS Mini Unblend Step 2: Breathe

Take a big deep breath, and then do a very, very, very slow outbreath.

And then, if necessary, take another.

You are giving your system a moment to settle. You are signaling that, for this moment, nothing needs to happen or be forced. This matters particularly when your system feels flooded with many parts. Cece Sykes describes the mini unblend as a way of welcoming the whole system exactly as it is. In a therapy session when the therapist invites this, it welcomes attuned listening and no agenda. But you don't need a therapist to do this for you, you offer yourself the same experience.

You can communicate inside to your system, "Of course you feel overwhelmed. Look at everything you have been carrying."

IFS Mini Unblend Step 3: Notice

By turning your attention inward, you can start to notice, what is here?

Perhaps you notice tightness in your chest, or a frantic stream of anxious thoughts. Perhaps you become aware of an urge to escape, scroll, drink, eat, watch pornography, work, sleep, or shut down. By noticing, you do not need to change the experience. Simply notice it.

In the noticing, you might start to sense, there is a part of me that is really overwhelmed right now, or something in me feels terrified, a part of me desperately wants relief. This small shift in language can create a profound change in your relationship with your experience. The feeling is present and the part is important, and deserving of attention. You also begin to discover that you are more than the part, which is the beginning of unblending.

The mini unblend does not require you to have a perfect meditation practice or deep knowledge of IFS. Sometimes a few moments of pausing, breathing, and noticing are enough to help the system settle. Sometimes, people new to IFS come to an erroneous conclusion that there are two states: you're either in complete Self-energy, or you're blended. The reality is much messier because most states are blended states. It's really how much you're blended/unblended, and how much Self-energy is present. The mini unblend speaks to this.

This sets up the next stage of internal relationship building: What inside me most needs my attention right now?

And listen.

About the Author

Sean Cuthbert is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychology Board of Australia (PBA) Approved Supervisor, Certified IFS Therapist, and IFS-I Approved Clinical Consultant in private practice in Melbourne, online throughout Australia, and internationally. He provides 1:1 therapy for clients, and supports professionals through individual and group supervision/consultation.